Inspired by the Mad Magazine reading book parodies, these humor pieces will provide the reader with education as well as entertainment.


17. GEEKS

17.1. The Geek Evangelist

See the Geek Evangelist.
See his popular weblog.
See his public appearances.
See his activism.
Hear his many speeches.
He's busy!
Busy busy busy...
Fighting the RIAA
and the MPAA
and the NSA
and ADHD
and the Big (C).
His latest crusade
is to stop those so-called "authors"
from being so full of themselves.
The Geek Evangelist is "flabbergasted"
that "authors" can't appreciate
how rad and cool fanfic is
and can't appreciate
when their characters are slashed
and raped
and mpregged.

Once he has convinced his fellow geeks
that integrity is so last century
he will embark on his next crusade.
It's called "The Rapture Of the Nerds."
The Geek Evangelist will lead the faithful
to the Techno-Paradise.
Which brings us to...

17.2. The Singularity Preacher

See the Singularity Preacher.
Preach, preach, preach.
Singularity, Singularity, Singularity.
Say that six times real fast!
Singularitysingularitysliglugn...
Of course, you can't.
But when the Singularity comes
you'll be able to do that
and more besides!
Hallelujah!

So what IS the Singularity, then?
It's very simple:
When things get to change SO fast
that you can't understand what's going on
the whole planet will turn into one big computer
and we are all turned into data
and can live forever
inside that big computer.
Hallelujah!
Just pray that it won't use buggy software
or faulty chips
or exploding batteries
or gets infected by a virus
or gets crammed with trolls
and fanfic
and cat pictures.
Hallelujah!

17.3. The Cyber-Warrior

See the cyber-warrior.
Hack, hack, hack.
Crash, crash, crash.
He's on a mission
to destroy a small country.
This is because that small country
offended a big country.
So the cyber-warrior got his orders
and other warriors too:
Attack the computers of the small country.
The cyber-warrior knows
that when he does that
real people will suffer.
Real people will lose their sleep
and their jobs
and their health.
Perhaps some might even die.
The cyber-warrior is safe, though.
He's far away from his victims...
...and hey, he's just following orders.
He's a dutiful little soldier.
His masters are planning to give him remote-control
of a gas chamber
in Chechnya.

(TO BE CONTINUED)

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