Inspired by the Mad Magazine reading book parodies, these humor pieces will provide the reader with education as well as entertainment.

8. THE MOVIES, PART II

8.1. Sequels

See the sequel.
Sequel, sequel, sequel.
Same, same, same.
Why do they make sequels?
Because it saves money
to use the same sets
and actors
and props
and costumes
and script
and director
and audience who paid to see the previous movie
all over again.
Like re-using your toilet paper:
You walk out feeling dirty, and the whole thing stinks.

8.2. Bollywood

In Hollywood, they don't make many musicals anymore.
But in Bollywood, all the movies are musicals.
Bollywood lies in India.
(No, they don't make "Cowboys and Indians" movies in India.)
See the Bollywood movie!
See the hundreds of dancers!
See the lovely female star sing and dance!
See the fat... er... husky male star sing playback!
See the gangsters hold a gun to the producer's head!
No, wait.
That's not part of the movie.
Those are real gangsters asking for money
that the producer owes them.
In Bollywood, it's not just the stuntmen
who risk their lives.

8.3. "The Matrix"

Have you heard this story?
A young man discovers a world conspiracy
of an evil group who wants to rule mankind
and the man finds his true destiny
to save the world
by attacking society
and shooting and killing
as many people as possible
and he doesn't feel guilty
because he is The Chosen One
and can't be wrong.
Have you heard this story before?
In fact, it was a book
before it became a movie.
The name of the book
is Mein Kampf
by Adolf Hitler.

8.4. Power

Who is the most powerful man
in the movie industry?
Who has the voice that makes rich men tremble?
Who can make and break people overnight?
Who is the most feared of all in Hollywood?
Is it some producer?
No.
Is it some successful agent?
No.
Is it a movie star?
Nope.
Is it some "madam" who knows the dirt on everyone?
Close, but no cigar.
The mightiest of all
is the dreaded divorce lawyer
who works for the wives
of the producers
and agents
and stars.
Remember, men:
If you're not nice husbands
the Hollywood divorce lawyer will come for you!

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