Chapter 22
They both slept badly.
([Mumbles] "No, not the clown suit...")
Shara had experienced some close shaves in her thirty-year life: knife-fights, arrests, attempts on her body.
(With the Gillette multi-blade.)
But somehow she had always managed to escape - lashing out with her stiletto, darting into an alley, bribing an official, seducing someone important.
(And letting "Scooter" take the fall.)
This, however, was a hopeless situation: no one ever returned alive from the Wastelands.
(Also known as "the suburbs of Paris".)
Like all city-dwellers, Shara's childhood had been terrorized by horror stories about the desolate outback, the crumbling ruins where nomadic Lepers ruled - and even weirder menaces created by the poisons of the Second Great War.
(Mutated four-armed Talibans - capable of stoning two women simultaneously!)
The Lepers were never pictured - the taboo was so powerful, one believed mere representations bred sickness.
(A Danish newspaper broke the taboo, and the editor went in hiding.)
Still, the mythology about the deformed nomads on the vast Outside was large and thriving.
Now, as Shara spent her last hours in relative safety, all her childhood legends came back in vivid dream images - all the myths:
The Lepers are the punishment of the Goddess for our sins.
The sight of a Leper can cause a man to die of fear.
("Kenneth Che-Tew Eng - smiling! AAAAGH!!")
If a Leper gives you the evil eye, something bad will happen to you.
(You'll be holding a squishy, icky, evil eye in your hand... I'd call that bad!)
Lepers torture, kill, and eat healthy humans.
(While Phyllis Schlafly cheers them on.)
If a Leper touches you, you will become a Leper yourself - as will all your children, and your children's children.
("And your children's children's children!" - "All right, Stan, don't labor the point.")
The Plague never leaves its victims.
Only fire can kill the Plague and the Leper.
(That, and a recount.)
The Lepers only live to hate and punish mankind.
(And to end the separation of church and state.)
Only one legend gave her a little comfort: The Singing King shall return and undo the sins of man.
(Tonight in Caesar's Palace: Louis XIV!)
Shara had her own personal reasons for not overly trusting that promise.
(She wasn't an overly trusting kind of person.)
("We should put them to work on that border fence!")
It did not visibly impress Azuch Fache, though - he visited the building site in his wheelchair, urging on the tired volunteers and guildworkers.
"I saved Madrivalo with just two thousand men!" he thundered. "Lord Damon should expect no less of you!"
(So he's saying they should save they day with more than two thousand men?)
Meanwhile, the castle hangar had been sealed off by Lord Damon's human guards. Bor personally overlooked that Darc and Shara were escorted into a troop carrier and shackled to the cabin wall.
(Shackling an entire troop carrier to the cabin took hours.)
The transport vessel had been tanked during the night, and fitted with an expansion tank for long flights.
("This flight covers the entire stretch of LOST!")
Bor then instructed Surabot where to fly and drop the prisoners off - a secret location, unknown to all but Bor and his most trusted mechanical servant. The heavy old robot accepted his orders with emotionless calm, and stepped up into the carrier.
([Barytone] "Old Man Robot, he don't say nothin'...")
The guards closed the rear port and cleared the starting area together with their lord. Minutes later, the large carrier warmed up its engines, ignited them and soared into the sky.
Bor kept watching the receding vessel until it had disappeared from sight. Apart from the two prisoners and the robot pilot, the troop carrier went empty.
(Sort of empty.)
No human would ever have to witness the two unfortunates being taken by the Lepers, or learn where to find them.
(Lost forever in the mists of North Dakota...)
"Surabot, where are you taking us?"
The robot responded like a drill sergeant: "Destination secret, Sir Darc. Lord Damon's orders. I apologize, Sir Darc."
Darc waited a while, then tried a sneakier approach: "Surabot, my friend. You are programmed not to hurt humans?"
([Robot voice] "I - am - allowed - to - use - sarcasm")
"Yes, Sir Darc."
"And if you leave me and Shara in the Wastelands, will that not hurt us?"
([Bender voice] "Bite my shiny metal ass!")
"If I allow you to stay in Damon City, you will be executed by Lord Damon. If you are abandoned in the Wastelands, your chance of survival will be slightly higher... Sir Darc."
"Yes, of course. How stupid I am."
([Robot voice] "Yes - I - know")
"Is that a question or a statement, Sir Darc?"
"It is irony - ignore it. But how can you follow Lord Damon's orders so blindly, even if you know he will cause harm to other humans?"
"One human is as potentially harmful as another, Sir Darc. I interpret my programming from occasion to occasion."
(Like a Supreme Court Judge interprets the Constitution.)
"And what is your general interpretation... of the directive not to hurt humans?"
([Robot voice] "Ha - ha - ha - ha -")
The machine seemed to hesitate - its visorplate flickered slower, as if its brain was getting bogged down with calculating the reply.
"Just a moment... just a moment... I generally let humans do as they please, Sir Darc. If I wait long enough, there is a slight likelihood that the programming of humans will improve."
"And how long are you prepared to wait for that to happen?"
"Just a moment... I have been waiting for one hundred and forty-seven years so far. A robot has the chance to outlast all humans, Sir Darc."
([Robot voice] "Ha - ha - ha - ha -")
Darc wasn't really certain whether these feudalistic robots were plain dumb, or just faked intelligence with excellent subtlety, or lived for the opportunity to piss off humans. Deep down, he suspected the last alternative.
(Deep down, his underwear needed cleaning.)
Shara was too despondent to try anything during the entire journey; she half believed Fate was sending her to die, as a punishment for her sins.
(She learned that from a Noam Chomsky lecture!)
DARC AGES (c)A.R.Yngve 1995, 2000, 2004. All rights reserved. May not be copied without permission.
______________
A.R.Yngve
The MSTing Of
DARC AGES
Book One
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(Steven Seagal, in his most lifelike role ever.)
The second day after the battle dawned on the citadels of Damon City. And it could now be seen, that the gash in the outer wall was halfway repaired - thanks to an enormous effort of the citizens, who worked with a frenzy that impressed even the Damon family.
During the long flight, Darc talked to Surabot. It resulted in the sort of bizarre conversation he, by this time, had come to expect of a robot.
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